Just like many of you here, I am quite a young girl who is trying to get through her exams and has pretty much given up on a "healthier lifestyle" because it meant that food and body image was always on my mind.
Don't read this if your in a vulnerable state of mind. Im posting this for support and prayers.

I'd just like to warn you before you read the rest of this that it has been extremely tough, both mentally and physically. I found myself undereating and thinking "this is how its supposed to be" but I was always frustrated and tired.
I realised that I started to care too much about how I looked and developed body image issues but are undiagnosed so I wouldn't fully know. Every time I looked in the mirror my body looked different, and my face looked almost deathly. And I also was not comfortable in my own skin. Let's just say i fell down the unhealthy and mentally fatal rabbit hole that involved starving and binging.

I couldn't stop the binging, it would happen every other day and to compensate, i would try to workout more or eat less the next day. Im sure that those who have experienced this binge-restrict cycle would know that it is not at all pleasant. You're left feeling disgusted at yourself.

It all kind of started when I plateaued and my weight wouldn't budge. I had spent nearly 7 months losing 8kg. But I was hasty and wanted more. So I pushed my body until everything went downhill. I lost my period for 2 months. I hated me and blamed myself for it all. But then I soon figured, "hey, I have exams so why dont I just relax on the diet and weight loss and focus on passing? I could just lose weight in the summer when I have a whole 12 weeks to focus on myself."
That mindset was a problem, because it meant my brain would switch to survival mode, and I binged every single day, 3 times a day. I'd eat maybe 2500 calories in one sitting and repeat that again whenever I craved relief and temporary comfort.

Do not worry, I am okay now and getting professional help. Everything that happened was because I restricted my body too much in the first place, so desperate to be a certain weight which I used to think was the cure to my problems. But my body looked no different. I lost the good weight, my muscles and all of my energy. And that was what made me realise that I wouldve broken my body had I kept pushing harder in the wrong direction.

Im not going to share everything hat happened during the 3 months that I was gone from this app and community, but all I am gonna say is dont ruin your body. I know that sounds like common sense, but you must find something that works for you and not rush. Do not rush. It will all work out in the end. Because it took me 7 months to lose 8kg, but 5 weeks to gain 7kg. Obviously thats a big sign that ive been restricting and my body held onto all of the weight and food thinking it was the last meal. Ive just reached the boring middle part of the whole process where most give up, and I was nearly one of them. (edited by moderator)