Not sure if this is the right place, please let me know if it aint.
So long story short, ive been in a caloric deficit for 599 days! i had 250-150 kcal deficit, sometimes 300. Carbs cycling depending on workout or rest days. Ive reached 66kgs on the start of march. Everything went well... until...
Ive reached a mental state where i couldnt think of anything else than F O O D. And i was fatigued. And powerless. And was mad at myself for not being able to keep my otherwise well kept deficit and goal calories. I didnt binge. I ate a bit more protein, bit more carbs, but couldnt keep it down at 1838.
And then i asked ai what the hell is wrong with my discipline. ANd ai suggested diet break. and honestly, after years of cutting, its been extremely difficult to eat maintenance. And scary. And ive also been deloading this past 3 days. And im scared. Im on the break for 3 days now and the constant hunger and fatigue and moodless vibe is gone.
for the sake of data im 30yo female 66-67kg, 167cm and came from about 143kgs starting some 4 years ago. My cutting macros are 61-65gs of far, max 230gs of carbs and 150gs of protein , 25-30gs of fibre, max 50g of sugar and 2-3ls of water. Maintenance should be 2100, cuz im moderately active and i keep protein high.

My question is, since this is my first time diet breaking, those who have experienced similar journeys as mine, is it survivable to go back to cutting after the break? Am i mad for going until mental exhaustion? my motivation is not gone at all, it's just work has been hard these weeks and... feels like excuses honestly. Feels like i lost my discipline. Feels so good to not be hungry. feels scary. Im not binging. its still scary.
Is it survivable?