This one year has been a columbus ride to me (mentally).
Currently,I am a 2024 graduate, unemployed and unhealthy (not too much but almost). So during the final year of my college, the placements were worse and I thought of flying to the USA for masters but the situation was worse there so I skipped. Then trough a reference I got an internship in data engineering where I had to work without getting any stipend ( it's a proper corporate office though). But then thanks to my hastey decisions, I took up a programming course worth ₹33K. Then I went there from may'24 with full hopes of learning the subject more and practically work on the subject I learnt. But nah~~ the mentor was so damn lazy that he wouldn't even explain the problem statement he wants us to work on!! Man!!!🫠 Fine I coped up with it too and worked but after 3 months it reached a saturation point that even if we call him and ask him to give some work or explain out faults, he wouldn't care! Damn it! I have a short temper so I came home that day (pretty angry ) and I shouted that "why do I have to sit there for 8 long hours without learning a single new thing!? Why do I have to put my health at stake too!? I'm already 20kgs overweight and my health is degrading like hell! I am unable to handle both my programming coaching and this internship. I want to leave the internship!!!" At this point I just had 3 to 4 hours of sleep everyday where I had to complete the internship work there where we were just working on one single thing for a whole damn month and yeah daily schedule of 6hours of the course I took up.
So in Sept '24 I successfully quit the internship 🎉. That happens to be the worst decision of my life haha🫠.
Since then, I planned to workout daily, eat healthy and stay updated with my course work. But nah~~ instead, I got addicted to social media, laziness, watching series and anime, and noodles 😭😮‍💨. That got me nowhere but a gain of 10 more kgs 😭🫠. Super!
I stay alone at home from 830 am till 5pm till my parents and my sibling come home from work and school respectively.
Now there was a point somewhere in between when I met my college friends and felt so damn low coz I was the only one not working, not improving, still looking the same and all. Literally I have lived my whole life as an aunty!
Procrastination really got me damn well. And I was soooooo afraid of failure that I didn't even think of attempting any competitive exam! So finally Aug'25. Still the same me but then I met my college friends for the 2nd time. And one of them motivated me like ahhhh bruhh I felt the fire burning inside me!!!! He told me " okay so you were afraid to write the exam so you didn't attempt. What the heck are you doing now? You are not where but still in the same position since we graduated. So just don't get overwhelmed or think about only failure. You've failed once doesn't mean you're a failure. So just study to test your potential. Not to crack the exam."