First day completed! it was super exhausting and often i had to take way longer breaks because i’m not used to such hardcore workouts and i never really workout because of my mental health and i smoke cigarettes daily.
just want to say that for years i have been really insecure about my body. i’m 84kg and i’ve been stuck being over 80kg for years now with pretty much this same weight because i mostly lay in bed and my food diet is quite poor.
i’m trying to lose enough weight before summer because i really want to be able to finally feel just somehow comfortable with myself because how i view my body has ruined me from truly being myself, like wearing the clothes i wish i looked good in which is why i always wear baggy clothes. i always avoid mirrors in public places and when i’m with my loved ones because i don’t want to be reminded of how i look. i know that if i were skinnier i could start to learn how to finally love myself.
also, if you’re somewhere about my weight or more, i hope no one took it personally because of how negatively i spoke about myself because of my weight. i find so much beauty in other chubby girls but when it comes to myself it’s personal+ i have my reasons.
i’d really appreciate some encouragement for the first time in my life to do this and stick in to this because i have tried to start losing weight but everytime i gave up because i was too lazy. this also means a lot to me because it’s my last year before turning 20 and i’m never gonna forgive myself if there hasn’t been a single time in my teenage years where i haven’t lost at least 10kg by working out😩 (with a new change to food diet as well ofc)